JANITORS DON'T DIE

Somebody's got to clean up the zombies...

Written: Worm Miller
Patrick Casey

At the moment, this is what one might call a "dream project." Not 'cause it is our labor of love, but because it's too expensive to make ourselves right now, and we don't want to sell it. This is a signature ASFF-style script and thus can not be trusted to mere mortals.

Not so much a sequel to Hey, Stop Stabbing Me!, Janitors Don't Die would be better described as simply the further adventures of Herman Schumacher (HSSM''s hero).

In JDD we join Herman on his first day as a night janitor at Olson Junior High, a school that in all outward appearances seems normal. Of course, since this is Herman's life we're talking about, it doesn't stay normal for long.

Strange things begin perking Herman's attention. First he discovers that the school used to be a mental institute that was built on top of a cemetery that was built on top of Indian burial grounds. Then his coworker Gary doesn't show up for work one day, and Herman finds Gary's hat caught in the gears of a box shredder. Something fishy is going on, and it seems to have something to do with the day crew and Doc Frayling, the marching band director. Things just get weirder and weirder for Herman until everything comes to a head during a solar eclipse.

The dead rise and it is up to Herman and the rest of the night crew to clean up the mess.