Maria on the set of the defunct project,
The State of Being Mike

Roles:
Sarah (Murder Made Easy)
Bonnie Johnson (The Movie From the Future)
Carrie Mirvis (Hey, Stop Stabbing Me!)
Lady Teetle (Sledgehammers at Dawn)

Originally drafted into the ASFF by virtue of the fact that she is Nathan Morales' little sister, Maria has since proven to be of great worth as an actor, because most girls don’t like to be in our movies. In fact, Maria doesn’t either. This is made evident every time she steps on set and commences in the most fascinating circus of bitching and goofing off we’ve ever seen. Amazing Schlock has made many attempts to replace her, but we always fail to find someone equally cute and decent at acting. Curses!

But our fans seem to love her, and they took offense at Pat & Worm's drunken insults toward her on the Hey, Stop Stabbing Me! commentary track... which proves that we do not live in a just world.

In addition to having great comedic timing, Maria is only five feet tall and can be easily tossed about with one hand. This actually makes her an ideal leading lady because it makes her male costars appear larger. When Michael Keaton does a romantic scene, he always has to stand on phone books so he won't look like the midget he is. If he were doing a scene with Maria, they'd have to dig a ditch for him to walk in so that Maria's head would even appear in the frame.

Maria now lives on the East Coast and has become easier to work with since she herself heard  the Hey, Stop Stabbing Me! commentary.